


The Ashes

by IvyH



Series: Lavender and Charcoal [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Darcy Lewis, Darcy is a mutant, F/F, Non-Consensual Body Modification, powers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2018-12-20 16:13:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11924532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvyH/pseuds/IvyH
Summary: “Get her up now!”“Yes sir.” Darcy yelped in pain as she was yanked into a standing position. She snarled at the men as she was pulled out of the room. She clawed at them and tried to fight her way out of their grasp. Darcy’s body seized and she howled in pain as electricity ricocheted throughout her body. There were more men in fatigues stood behind her, all their weapons pointed at her.I’m going to kill that man.------Follows immediately after The Spark.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Italics are thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics are thoughts. Bold is overheard conversations.

_Where am I? What happened?_

Darcy groaned, her body hurt all over but there were no wounds left on her body. She was in a dark concrete cell with water dripping down the walls. The room was cold against her bare skin, cold enough that if she wanted to keep her body temperature at bare minimum she would have to keep moving, if she stayed still her body would start shutting down, she couldn’t help but think that it was done on purpose to beat down her willpower. She pulled herself up from her prone position on the floor and crawled to the grotty mattress in the corner of the room.

It smelled of mould with a hint of gunpowder and disinfectant and there was an undercurrent of blood which she wasn’t sure whether it was her own or not. There were the muffled sounds of people moving around outside of her cell, but she couldn’t hear anything more specific than footsteps and a low hum of conversations and machinery. _Where the fuck am I?_

The room was a grey square with a massive steel door that Darcy expected was locked on the other side, there was a small latch in the door about the size of a letterbox. Darcy took a deep breath in as a pang of hunger stabbed at her stomach. _How long have I been here?_ She lent back against the world and curled in on herself to conserve her heat, she was still wearing the nightgown she had thrown on when Jean left to get pastries. _Jean, oh my God is Jean okay?_ Darcy’s eyes stung as Jean flashed through her mind, she couldn’t remember seeing Jean in any of the fighting so maybe she got away. _Oh God I hope she got away._

There was a clanging noise on the other side of the door and Darcy sprung up, her hands bunching into fists behind her legs. She bit her lip as the door slid open. Two men in dark fatigues marched into the room with assault rifles pointed toward her. Darcy stumbled as she stopped herself from attacking them right now, she didn’t know anything about the building and she was sure a better opportunity to escape would arise, they were unlikely to go to the trouble of kidnapping her just to keep her in this room.

An older, greying man walked in, staying a step behind the other men as if Darcy was going to rip his face off, if there were no guards in the way maybe she would have. She barely refrained from snarling at the sight of him. “Where the fuck am I?”

“Now there’s no need for words like that.” He laughed and Darcy backed away from him ever so slightly, he smelt of cheap coffee and ink. _Not dangerous then._ “A little birdie told me that you might be able to help me, so my men brought you here.” He smiled.

“You didn’t answer my question.” She grasped the silk of her nightgown between her hands, focusing on the feel of the material against her skin and not what the man’s skin would feel like underneath her hands as she ripped him to pieces.

The smile slipped from his face and the man lifted his hand at one of the men. He sprung forward and backhanded Darcy across the face. She slammed against the wet floor, blood poured out of her nose. Darcy rolled onto her back as she felt the flesh of her face wove back together.

“You don’t ask the major questions,” The guard ground out and Darcy rolled her eyes as she stood back up. _So he’s actually a Major Asshole then._

“Got it,” She spat the blood that had collected in her mouth at the guard’s feet.

“It would be in your best interests if we came to some sort of agreement, it could be beneficial to the both of us,” There was a soft whip sound as Major Asshole pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and offered it to her, she crumpled it in her palm. “If you help me, then things will be a lot easier, not to mention, more comfortable for you.”

“I don’t even know why I’m here.” She felt her knuckles pop as she tried to rein in the fury pumping through her body. He smiled again and a knot formed in her stomach at the sight.

“I’ve heard about your gifts. I think you’d be perfect in helping us.”

“Help you do what?” Darcy felt her heart seize and she knew she was never going to help the psycho.

“Find people like you, of course.” Darcy’s face fell and she stumbled back against the wall. “With your skills in the mix, finding mutants will be so much easier and we can shift our resources elsewhere.”

_Why does he want mutants?_

“So what do you say Miss Lewis?” He grinned and Darcy glared at him.

“I will _never_ help you,” She hissed. His face morphed into that of someone who just found dog shit on the bottom of his shoe.

“You will help us whether you want to or not.” He clicked his fingers and the guards stepped forward. Darcy swung her right hand forward catching one of them in the mouth and she dropped to the floor to avoid the reach of the other man. She slammed her elbow into his knee to bring him down to the floor, a howl of pain echoed the room as she yanked his leg back and snapped the tendons in his knee cap.

She jumped up to attack the other guard when she was thrown to the floor by blinding pains in her chest.

“Take her to the extraction room and call Dr Francis in, we’re going to need his expertise.” Major Asshole spoke as she continued to gag on the floor. Her chest was covered in blood. _The bastard shot me._ She dug her fingers into her flesh and she pulled the bullets out. The slugs slipped through her fingers and clinked against the floor.

“Get her up now!”

“Yes sir.” Darcy yelped in pain as she was yanked into a standing position. She snarled at the men as she was pulled out of the room. She clawed at them and tried to fight her way out of their grasp. Darcy’s body seized and she howled in pain as electricity ricocheted throughout her body. There were more men in fatigues stood behind her, all their weapons pointed at her.

_I’m going to kill that man._

* * *

It wasn’t a long walk to the “Extraction room” and the guards that had been manhandling her strapped her down to a gurney. She bit and scratched and attacked like a wounded animal to no avail. They left as soon as she was securely strapped down. The bindings were made of metal. They ripped her skin as she strained against them, her skin melding around the metal as it tried to heal itself.

“Shit.” She groaned and thumped her head against the table, it was clear she wouldn’t be getting out of the restraints. She closed her eyes and focused on her surroundings.

 **“Do you think there’s anything you can do to help persuade her Doctor? I would like to get her out in the field as soon as possible,”** Major Asshole questioned.

 **“I believe there’s something I can do. I’ve been working on some new technology that will act as a synaptic processor. I can’t promise it will work immediately, but with a few adjustments I’m hopeful it will be a success,”** _This must be Doctor Francis._

**“And she’ll follow orders?”**

**“She’ll have no choice.”**

“Thank you Doctor.”

Darcy’s heart sped up uncontrollably and she wrestled against the restraints again. Blood trickled down her limbs and she quieted a gasp of success as she got a hand free. The skin had been pulled to the bone but it was healing quick enough that she was able to rip the cuff off of the other hand, the metal shrieking as she ripped it from her body. _They’re close, hurry the fuck up._

With the metal band across her chest wet with blood it only took a little bit of space for her to slip underneath. Her feet were next and she made quick work of them as her body tensed with adrenaline. Their footsteps were getting closer to the door and she hid behind it.

She held her breath as the door swung open.

The Doctor and the man from earlier stepped into the room. Their conversation died on their lips as they took in the sight of the empty gurney.

“Where is she? The guards said she would be in here.” The Major scoured the room looking for her as the Doctor slowly walked into the room, leaving more space between her and the door.

She was about to slip through it when she felt her shoulder being ripped backward. She span around and lashed out at her attacker, her hands coming into contact with the man’s eyes, she scratched and her hands became wet with blood as she fought him off.

The Major shouted in pain and Darcy grinned as she pulled away from him eager to get as far away as possible. This was her opportunity to escape. She turned to flee again, the door handle in her grasp.

Darcy roared in pain and looked down to see a piece of metal sticking out of her abdomen. She could feel the entry wound in her back, the skin felt as if it was being ripped apart by thousands of little teeth and she sobbed at the pain.

“Get her in the tank before she heals again.” Doctor Francis shouted at the guards that came pouring through the door.

Darcy slipped on the blood pouring down her legs as she was pulled towards a metal tank, her knees smacking against the floor. She gagged against the bile rising from her throat and emptied the contents of her stomach on the floor she was being dragged along.

She couldn’t fight against the multiple pairs of hands that were hoisting her into the tank, she was unceremoniously dropped into the tank of water. _Salt water._ She hissed and thrashed about as she was pushed under the water.

Her lungs filled with the water as she screamed. She slammed against the metal tank, the sound was dull through the water. Her veins were full of acid and her nose, mouth and throat were fighting to decide whether they wanted to try and breathe or cough up the fluid in her lungs. Either way whatever she did was clouding her brain.

Darcy’s vision flickered and she slammed her eyes shut before opening them again. It made no difference as when she tried to open them again her vision disappeared and she blacked out.

She was gone.

* * *

 

The next time she woke up she was in a different cell to before. This one had a proper bed and a table and chair that were nailed to the floor. There was a small pile of clothes next to her bed, food on the table and the door wasn’t locked.

She got all of this information in under a second. _That’s too fast._

There was something wrong with her body. It didn’t feel right. She felt unsettled and violated. Her body no longer felt like her own.

Her arms were sluggish as she raised them to her head. She was fully healed. Her breathing was normal and there was nothing wrong with her chest or her abdomen. _They must have done the procedure_. She felt like crying but her body felt otherwise, her eyes stayed dry and her throat relaxed.

She sat up and swung her legs out of the bed. Her hair felt greasy and she went to pull it back from her head when she felt something foreign. There was something metal attached to her forehead, about four inches long. It curved around her right eyebrow and a few thinner pieces fissured off from the rest, going behind her ear and beneath her scalp into the cortex of her brain. _Get it off me. Get it off me._ She screamed inside her head, but her fingers stayed where they were, lightly touching the metal. Not digging her fingernails under the metal and ripping it from her skin like she desperately wanted to.

There was a knock on the door and Darcy’s body stood up and to attention. The Major walked in and Darcy fought for control over her own body again but she could do nothing to get her muscles to move from their position. His face was covered in bandages and bruises from where she had gouged his face, one of her claw marks sticking out from underneath.

“Glad to see you’re awake Miss Lewis.” His mouth got caught between a smile and a baring of his teeth. “I think it’s time we got started, don’t you.”

Her head Jerked in a nod.

“I’m glad you feel that way, sit eat your food you’ll need the energy.” Her body walked to the table and sat down before systematically shoving the food into her mouth. It was, thankfully, tasteless and Darcy managed to raise her head to look at the Major. He walked to the table and dropped a file onto it. “We need your help recovering this asset, as a test run of your gifts I suppose,” He chuckled and sat on her bed, his hands flattening the messy sheets. “The target is reported to be in Sarajevo for the next forty-eight hours, my men will take you there and you will find him for us.” _Sarajevo, how the hell am I going to find him in Sarajevo._ Her hands flicked through the files and she scanned them for the information, her mind stored away each piece and she closed the file. She bit into the apple and turned to look at the Major.

She swallowed and the word “Confirmed,” slipped through her lips.

“Good, once you’re changed the men outside your room will take you to the transport.” He stood and turned to leave the room. “You will not fail, is that clear?”

She nodded again and he left the room. _What the hell is happening to me?_ Her body worked on autopilot again and her body pulled the black fatigues, the trousers drowned her legs but the shirt fitted slightly better, the shoes weren’t a good fit either but they would do.

Her fingers trailed along the silk of the ruined nightgown on the floor. Her heart stung at the reminder of the loss of a happy future with Jean, they were in paradise and that _bastard_ had ripped it from them.

She knew right then that she would keep her promise to kill him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the start of the next of Darcy and Jean's lives. Please tell me what you think of it, it went a bit of a different direction than what I had planned, but I kind of like it! If you have any questions I will happily answer them. The update schedule is going to be a little strange as i'm away for two weeks tomorrow and I don't know whether i will have access to the internet. However as soon as i get back I only have five days till I move to university so I'll try and publish the rest of it in those five days if I can :) Word vomit over!


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics are thoughts.

_Four years later_

Jean was bone tired. Her limbs hanging down as she trudged through her one bedroom apartment. She had just gotten off of the night shift and was ready to slump down into bed for eight hours, wake up and then go in to the hospital for her next shift. The constant pattern of work-sleep-work again had been holding Jean’s life together for the past four years, allowing her to detach from her own life and focus on that of the patient she was treating, or whatever she was studying. Leaving Westchester had helped, the isolation and an untainted apartment kept Jean a few steps back from the verge of breakdown.

She dreaded the moments she was left alone with just her thoughts, where she couldn’t help but think of Darcy and wonder whether she’d left her vulnerable that morning, that she should have known something was going to happen and stayed in bed with Darcy like she’d asked then she could’ve protected her and Darcy would still be here, by her side as if nothing had changed. Or maybe Darcy could have gone out instead of her and then she wouldn’t have even been near the danger. If she’d just stayed away from Darcy in the first place she wouldn’t have even been in Venice to begin with, their lives would have been completely different but at least they would have both been safe. The thoughts drove her to devastation. She chose instead to work herself to the bone so when she was alone her mind was too exhausted to focus.

She shuffled through the living room dumping her scrubs on the floor as she pushed through to her bedroom and slumped onto her unmade bed. Her breathing immediately slowed and she let her eyes fall together as she was swept into an exhausted sleep.

Which was quickly broken by the insistent ringing of her landline.

She groaned and rolled over onto the floor, rubbing at her knees as they smacked against the floor. _Who the fuck is calling me?_

She scrubbed her face and yanked the phone off the hook.

“What do you want?” She growled, not really caring who was on the other end, they had woken her up from her much needed sleep and they didn’t deserve her politeness.

“We’ve found her.”

Jean froze, her body was completely rigid and her breath got stuck in the back of her throat. _I’m dreaming._

“What?” She demanded when the breath finally left her mouth. Water was already streaming down her face from her eyes, the build-up of four frozen years poured out of her eyes.

“We’ve found her, Jean. Darcy’s coming home.” Charles’s voice was filled with joy and astonishment. Jean knew deep in her heart that he wasn’t lying, but the rest of her fought the fact that she had been trying to grasp for the past four years.

“Are you sure?” She whispered, wiping at her eyes.

“It was her, no doubt in my mind.” Jean let out a sob and she slid to the floor. “Kurt can come and get you now before she gets back.”

 _Would she even want to see me, everything that’s happened to her is because of me._ “I-uh I have a shift tonight.” Her brain was shutting back to how it had worked the past years. _It’s my fault._

“I contacted your manager and explained that you had a family emergency, she said that you’ve done enough overtime that you’ve deserved a few weeks off at least,” Charles calmed her, making it clear that she would be coming home and that she didn’t get to run from this.

“Ok, ok I’ll get my things.” She finished her conversation with Charles and quickly shoved her only casual clothes into an overnight bag. Despite the fact that Jean was sure Darcy didn’t want to see her, she needed to see for herself that Darcy was alive and real. If it ended in heartbreak she was certain it would be a price worth paying to see her love alive.

* * *

Darcy was sat alone in the dark bar, welcoming in the smell of sticky beer and greasy bar foods with the background odour of piss. It was heaven.

The bartender kept looking at her out the corner of his eye as she kept draining the drinks he put in front of her. American scotch, she had never really bothered with alcohol before, it was spiteful, the sheer act of being able to put what she wanted into her body. “Another,” She waved down the bartender and he filled her glass up again. She should probably slow down if she wanted to not attract attention, it wasn’t every day a petite woman could finish a bottle of scotch and seem perfectly fine.

She was by no means the strangest sight the bar had ever seen, but she wasn’t exactly normal either.

Darcy rolled her neck from side to side and massaged the back of her neck, working out the kinks from being tense and on constantly on the move for days on end.

Ten days.

She had escaped ten days ago. And in less than half an hour she would be back in the arms of her family. _Back in Jean’s arms._ Her eyes shone at the knowledge that Jean was safe and that she had missed all of the danger of Venice – of course she knew logically that they had never been after Jean in the first place. It was nice to be able to truly feel again, her emotions reconnecting with her body as she finally reclaimed her control.

She scratched above her right eyebrow, she still expected to find the metal fused with her skin. She’d ripped the wires out of her skull herself, almost blacking out from the pain, the wires that weren’t just running along her scalp but dug deep into her brain and into her sensory cortex. _I’m free now._

There was a whooshing noise that settled at the base of Darcy’s neck and she barely kept the grin from her face. _They’re here_. She slapped a wad of bills on the bar, enough to hopefully keep the Bartender quiet about anything he might have seen as she darted out of the building.

The blackbird was settled in the clearing she had scoped out earlier and Darcy threw herself at the first person coming down the descending ramp. _Jean!_

She slammed into them, their breath leaving both of them as Darcy grasped them in her arms. Her eyes burned at the warming touch of just being held.

“Hey you’re ok, you’re safe now.” _It’s Scott._ Darcy loosened her grip to look at him, he’d changed in the past few years, sporting stubble and harsher lines on his face. She grinned even as part of her stomach turned at the fact that It wasn’t Jean.

“I never thought I’d be happy to see your ugly mug.” A laugh startled out of Scott’s mouth and her wrapped his arm around Darcy’s shoulder and pulled her onto the jet. She was quickly claimed for hugs by Ororo, Hank and even a quick vice like grasp from Mystique.

Hank ushered her to the bench in the back as Scott and Mystique got the plane ready for take-off.

She clicked her belt in and pushed away Hank’s hands as he tried to examine her. “I’m fine Hank, seriously. I’m just tired,” Her smiled faltered and Hank nodded his head. “You can check me over later when I’ve slept and changed out of these grimy clothes.”

“Alright,” Hank nodded “Why don’t you try and catch some sleep now, I’ll make sure to wake you before we land.”

Darcy’s eyes watered “Thank you,” she leant her head against the wall and slipped into unconsciousness as the foreign feeling of safety wrapped around her.

* * *

Jean’s pulse was thrumming in her ears as they landed in the hall of the mansion. She could feel the cacophony of thoughts filter into her head and she took a quick breath in before she opened her eyes. She didn’t remember the last time she had been back to the mansion, she had been so focused on staying afloat at university that she hadn’t been _home._ When _was_ the last time she had even seen Charles or Ororo or-or Scott-

And now Darcy was here and she was alive and Jean felt sick. She shouldn’t be here, she didn’t belong here anymore, it was best if she just kept her distance. That way no one else would get hurt like Darcy had. _I shouldn’t be here, she won’t want to see the reason she was missing for the last four years, not now that she’s safe._

The light trickle of a familiar laugh sent ice shards down her spine and her chest seized up, her breath getting stuck. Kurt tapped her shoulder and smiled, tilting his head towards the source of the sound. Jean felt her head nod and saw her feet carry her body through the room with Kurt.

It was cliché, but Darcy was more beautiful than her memory led her to remember. She was leaner, her hair was shorter and her face looked more serious than she had ever seen it despite the fact she had a smile plastered onto it. _It’s her eyes._

Jean felt sweat drip down her neck as Ororo flicked her eyes over to Jean and Darcy’s eyes followed.

The room didn’t stop. Everyone else’s conversations carried on, Jean could see the way that their mouths moved but she couldn’t hear them. She could only hear her own breathing and pulse as it echoed around her head. She felt the blood pushing through her brain and a pressure built up in her throat and behind her eyes.

_She’s here._

Darcy seemed to eat up the space between them until there was not much more than a metre between them. The smile had slipped off of her face and her eyes bored into Jean. _She doesn’t want me here_. Jean swallowed and flinched back a few steps until she could breathe again.

She was too busy looking at the floor that she didn’t see the way Darcy’s face crumpled. When she looked back up Darcy was embracing Kurt, her eyes shut so she didn’t have to look at her. _I should go._

“It’s good to see you Darcy.” Kurt’s lilting voice cut through her panic.

“Likewise.” Darcy broke their hug and Jean saw what she thought was a real smile on her face as she turned away from Jean and linked her arm with Kurt’s, dragging him to the other side of the room.

Jean floated around the room for the next twenty minutes, whenever Darcy moved she moved the opposite way, so their paths didn’t cross. She feigned a yawn and dipped out of her conversation with Hank, spouting some excuse about needing to catch up on sleep, which coupled with the fact she had just finished a twelve hour shift was easily accepted. Even though she felt as if she’d never be able to sleep again.

As her hands pulled the door open to slip out she felt a stare digging into the back of her neck and she didn’t need to look to know it was Darcy. She left and escaped to the spare room she had moved into after Darcy went missing and she couldn’t face the idea of sleeping in her room next to Darcy’s empty room, it wouldn’t be empty tonight but she still couldn’t face the idea of sleeping there.

She may have been a coward but at least she was a self-aware coward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah so i didn't stick to my schedule at all. At least there is a new chapter and i'm hoping that once i've fully settled in at university i'll be able to post more semi-regularly! But please let me now what you think about it I absolutely promise it makes me write faster :) Thank you so much for reading and i promise that there will be a happy ending despite how it looks at the moment.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been such a long time.  
> As usual Italics are thoughts.

Darcy trudged to her old room, her muscles screamed at her to keep alert and ready to fight at a seconds notice but her chest felt heavy and her mind was racing. She needed to sleep, she _should_ sleep, in an actual bed that’s hers in a warm, safe place with sheets that don’t rub her skin raw and that didn’t have the faint smell of blood and gun oil. Her mind supplied images of her bed not in the mansion but in _their_ old apartment, where she used to sleep tucked under Jean’s arm or pressed up against Jean’s back with her hair tickling her face and the comforting blanket of everything that was _Jean._

Her eyes stung at the memory.

On the rare occasion that Darcy allowed herself the indulgence to think of _Jean_ and of _home_ during her time captive she imagined what she would do when she saw Jean again. Sometimes they kissed so passionately that Darcy thought her lips would fall off. Sometimes Jean would find her whilst she was on a mission and Jean would break Darcy out and wreak havoc on those that kept her. Other times Jean would just hold her together as she wept the future that was robbed from her and the countless people she was forced to hunt.

Not one of them involved Jean flinching back and escaping before she could so much as touch her. None of them involved Jean looking at her like she was a completely different person, like she was scared of her.

_Maybe she just needs time to adjust, I’m not the same person I once was._

Her mental reassurances were feeble and her newly reclaimed emotions poured out of her eyes. She pushed her door shut behind her and slid to the floor. She pulled a deep breath in and just sat, allowing herself to stay still for the first time in a long while.

Darcy’s heart beat dropped as she took slow, somewhat meditative breaths. The old sensations from her late teen years filtered back into her like a comfort blanket. Her eyes fluttered open as she realised that something was missing in the symphony, like she was missing an instrument. Darcy stood up and pulled back the covers of her bed.

_Lavender._

It was Jean, the missing part of her symphony was Jean’s heartbeat-breath-scent-everything.

A wet sob escaped the dam in Darcy’s throat and she curled up on her bed as she let out years upon years of supressed and forgotten emotions. She _hurt._ Her body was in perfect shape as it always was, yet still she hurt. She felt pain for the future she had been robbed of, for the futures she had helped rob, for Jean and the life they should have shared and _because_ of Jean and the hope she had quashed in Darcy’s heart.

_How could I have ever thought she’d still love me?_

* * *

Three stifling weeks had passed since she had come home. Darcy spent her time trying to find her place back amongst her family. It was an odd feeling, being at home but also feeling like she was drowning on an island by herself. It hit her that in the past four years she hadn’t been the only thing that was broken beyond repair.

Ororo, Scott, Jubilee and Kurt all had the same hearts that she loved but they weren’t kids anymore. They were adults and they had each found their own footing and place in the world, something that Darcy had no clue how to do. Ororo and Scott taught at the school, Jubilee had moved to Los Angeles to pursue her acting dream and Kurt was helping Professor Xavier to protect and rescue vulnerable mutants. Everyone had their place, Darcy knew she wasn’t going to find hers at the mansion.

She had barely spoken any words to Jean, whenever she got so close to as to include Jean in a conversation she would avoid answering directly to her, instead aiming her answers at whoever else was in the conversation. It was almost funny the way in which Jean would rush to leave a room as soon as she realised she would be left alone with Darcy, always coming up with some excuse or another. Every single time it happened she felt like she was being stabbed in an open wound. Take yesterday when Darcy was sat in the med bay with Hank -going over the last few details she could remember from the procedures done to her- Jean had walked in with a text book in hand a question on her lips which had died as soon as she spotted Darcy. She turned on her heel, “I’ll come back later” falling out of her mouth as she left the room as quickly as she had entered.

She couldn’t take the constant dancing around Jean and the itch under her skin any longer. When Charles mentioned that Mystique would be coming back by the school later in the week to exchange information about the leads she had been hunting down she felt her blood quieten at the idea of leaving the mansion and using everything her body knew to hunt down other people who wanted to hurt people like them. Maybe she could undo some of the hurt she had put out into the world.

It would give her time to learn to live her life for herself again.

She had some unfinished business to sort out first before she left. Which was why she was waiting inside the room she had found out that Jean was using. She didn’t want to ambush her like this, Jean hadn’t really given her a choice. She was stood in the corner of the room, not touching anything so that she wasn’t tainted with any residue of Jean.

The door knob turned and Darcy prepared herself for what was to come.

“What?-” Jean looked frozen as she took in the fact that she was in her room.

“I need to talk to you and this seemed to be the only way to get you in a room alone.” Darcy felt a thread of steel works its way through her spine. “It’ll be quick.”

Jean stayed frozen in the door way but Darcy knew no one else was going to walk past anytime soon so they had as much privacy as they were going to get. She swallowed.

“I can’t keep staying here hoping things will go back to the way they were. It’s not fair to you-or to me. I know I’m not that person anymore and I doubt you are either.” Darcy felt the beginning of tears drip out of her eyes and down her face, she left them where they were. “Those first few days back here I was just _kidding_ myself when I thought that you still loved me.” Jean’s breath picked up but Darcy paid no attention to it. “Well it’s clear that’s not true anymore. I’m leaving with Mystique, I need to figure out what to do with my life now that the future I wanted is gone.”

Darcy walked across the room as Jean moved to sit down on her bed. “I know we’re both not the same people we once were, but when I look at you I can’t help but see the woman I fell in love with and it hurts every single time.”

“I-”

Darcy sniffed and wiped her face, refusing to look at Jean as she stuttered. “I just thought I’d tell you so you can stop worrying about being alone in a room with me.” Darcy pulled the door open and let herself have one last look at Jean before she left. “Good bye Jean.” She whispered and left.

She walked to the hangar to meet Mystique, completely unaware of Jean fighting between her heart and her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry about the long wait guys, things have been pretty hectic, I dropped out of my University and its been a busy past few weeks moving back and getting a job. But im a lot happier now and i should have more time to update more often!  
> Please let me know what you thought about, which bits you liked which bits you were unsure of, what you want to see right at the end of this story as that is what i am writing right now :)  
> Thank you so much for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics are thoughts.  
> There is a big time jump as I wanted to get to a modern timeline.

_2016 – Avenger’s Tower_

Darcy’s life had been a whirlwind of opportunities leading to chaos leading to more opportunities. She spent a few years alongside Mystique, helping her track down groups that were supposedly exploiting mutants and occasionally bringing kids to the mansion. After a while Darcy felt that she needed to build another part of her life that didn’t revolve solely around fighting or her mutations, whilst she loved them and wouldn’t change the fact she was a mutant, there was more to her than that. So she pursued a degree in political science, maybe there were other ways to help people like her.

And that was when everything got turned upside down again. She got sucked into the madness that was Jane Foster and she hadn’t really looked back since. It wasn’t her family but it was damn close. She followed Jane across the globe and back again and she was finally back in New York, not at Westchester but in Avengers Tower working alongside Jane in her lab, it had been a tumultuous few months but everything had started to settle down again.

It was strange for Darcy, living in a building full of extraordinary people again with them thinking she was the most normal one out of them. She never lied to them about her mutations but at the same time none of them had ever asked, Jane was about the only person she thought had any inkling that she wasn’t normal and she had never questioned her about it, she just carried on like normal. It was amazing what you could get away with by hiding in plain sight.

It hadn’t taken long for Jane and her to be pulled into the fold of Avengers movie nights and games nights and they had even been invited to girl’s night. Which was where she first met the infamous Black Widow. They formed an unlikely friendship which set Stark’s teeth on edge. And Darcy would be lying if she said she didn’t get a little bit of joy out of that.

Unfortunately Darcy found herself in the damming position of being put onto Natasha’s hitlist. Sweet, sweet Jane had oh so casually spilled her guts when Darcy was in the bathroom on last night’s girl’s night (plus Clint as Pepper was out of town). When she came back out of the bathroom she saw Nat’s grin and felt her stomach plummet. _Oh god._ Thankfully, Clint came back to the table at the same time and saved her ass.

She was inhaling her coffee in the lab, trying to stay out of Natasha’s way although she knew it was a futile attempt if Steve’s stories were anything to go by. Still, changing her pattern of behaviour was the first step and staying out of her apartment was the second, and with the hangover Jane was definitely nursing she had no reason to be in the lab this early.

She was leaning back in her chair and enjoying the silence when Natasha appeared behind her. Darcy kept her eyes closed, pretending that she didn’t know she was standing right behind her, she could smell the light citrus scent that Natasha always wore.

“So, you went to bed pretty quick last night.” Natasha smirked, Darcy popped one eye open and looked up at her.

“I was tired.”

“You’re drinking your coffee in the lab and Jane’s not even in here. I’m starting to think there’s more to it than you just being tired, it wouldn’t have anything to do with Jane spilling the beans on your love life would it?” Natasha hopped up on the desk next to her coffee which she pulled out of Darcy’s reach and sipped at. Darcy glared at Natasha causing the red head to smirk at her again.

She sighed, “So what I haven’t been on a date in a few years-” _make that at least five years_ “- I’ve just been too busy, what with following Jane around the world and all.”

“And what about now, you’ve been here for a few months, it doesn’t look like you’re going anywhere for a while either, why not get back out there?” Natasha was looking intently at her face and she kept her face as neutral as possible as her stomach churned. She hadn’t dated because she knew no one would ever live up to the image of Jean in her head, sure she had met some nice people but there was no spark or energy between them.

“Look I just, I wouldn’t know where to start, it’s a big place.” Darcy almost winced at her useless excuse.

There was a glint in Natasha’s eye and she knew immediately she had said the wrong thing.

“No.No no no. Stop right there, don’t say what I think you’re about to say.”

“What? You’ve got a lot in common, plus you already hang around with him and you know you get along. Also I know that he hasn’t dated anyone in a much longer time than you.” She grinned as Darcy groaned and banged her head on the table.

“I can’t date Steve, Natasha. Come on we’re friends.”

“What about one date, Pepper’s throwing a gala at the end of the month, you could keep each other company.” Nat waggled her eyebrows and Darcy snorted.

“While I’ll happily go to the gala with Steve as a friend, there’s nothing more between us. I don’t think I could see him in that way, he’s not the type I usually go for.” Darcy leaned back in her chair as she saw Natasha’s face twitch in calculation. Before she could speak Darcy ploughed on. “I’m not looking for anything serious Natasha, or anything at all really. I already found the person I wanted to spend my life with and they haven’t felt the same way in a long time.”

Natasha frowned and slid off of the table, her arms crossed over her chest. “I’m sorry to hear that Darcy. Do you- do you want to talk about it?”

Darcy could sense the tone of unease in her voice at the sudden turn in conversation. She smiled to try and reassure Natasha before she carried on. “I’m alright Nat, it was a few years ago now. We had a connection I’ve never felt with anyone else before or since and every time I try and date someone else it just feels like I’m trying to recreate it. You can’t force a love that isn’t there, so I stopped trying.”

Natasha bumped her shoulder with Darcy’s. “You need me to go sort someone out?”

Darcy laughed and shook her head. “Thank you, but I’m good. I don’t blame her for not feeling the same way anymore, we went through a really rough patch and things just didn’t stay the same at the end of it.” Her eyes were wet but she felt her heart lighten as she shared some of the weight.

“Alright, not Steve then.” Darcy snorted again and Natasha smiled at her. “I’m here if you want to talk about though, it seems like there’s more to that story.”

Darcy nodded, “Thanks Nat. I’ll keep it in mind.”

“I’m good at keeping secrets you know, although it looks like you’re not so bad at keeping secrets yourself.” Natasha gave Darcy a swooping gaze over her body. “There’s something you’re not telling me.” Darcy kept her eyes locked on Natasha’s, her body was still relaxed and her heartbeat was still sedate, so Darcy kept her body language open and honest. She hadn’t lied to Natasha and she didn’t intend to start now. “I won’t push it.” She slid off of the desk.

Darcy smiled, maybe it was time someone knew who she really was, from the brief things Darcy had read in the Shield info dump, Natasha and she had a few things in common. “I’m not hiding anything and I won’t lie to you, if you ask a question I’ll tell you the answer.”

Natasha looked at her like a puzzle and left the room.

* * *

It was a little under a week before Natasha ambushed her again, this time Darcy was sat in the labs greenhouse that was on the roof. Darcy liked to spend her breaks in there, with the afternoon sunlight hitting all of the plants and warming her skin, she basked in the scent of each of the plants swirling around her.

“You figured it out yet?” Darcy asked as she stroked her hands over some of the plants.

“Might have done.” Natasha bounced something in her hand and threw it at Darcy who caught it in her hands. It was a pair of her specially filtered glasses that she kept for when she had migraines.

“I see you’ve done some investigating. I wasn’t aware that you went through my apartment though.” Darcy frowned, her apartment _was_ untouched, she would have known otherwise.

“It was in your bottom desk drawer, I assure you I wasn’t actually looking for them. I caught Clint looking for your secret stash of m&m’s. But it did help me piece things together.” She whispered as she slipped the m&m’s out of her back pocket. Darcy laughed and opened them, grabbing a handful before offering them to Natasha. “I’ll tell you what I think and you can tell me if I’m right.”

“Shoot.” Darcy patted the bench next to her.

“You’re a mutant. You went to Xavier’s institute. You’re older than you look.” Natasha ticked them off of her fingers.

“Correct on all three. Do you have any questions?” Darcy asked as she crossed her legs on the bench.

“Yes, but I also wasn’t finished. You know how to fight, you hold yourself like someone who’s been in a war but by the way you don’t react to every small noise I’d say you’ve been dealing with it for a long time now. I think that that’s what happened with you and your love, you felt like you crossed a line and that changed you, you see yourself differently now.” Natasha looked at Darcy as she carried on.

“Something like that.” Darcy swallowed. “Your questions?”

“Did you fight for the x-men?”

“Not really no, I’ve helped out on a few missions and there were a few years after-after my _war_ as you said- where I helped an _associate_ of the Professor’s hunt down the people that tried to hurt people like us, to try and stop them, towards the end of those years we started finding more and more mutants who needed our help so we ended up acting as a reconnaissance team to get them to safety. It was good, it just wasn’t what I imagined for my life, I didn’t like that I was constantly fighting. So that’s when I went back to college and the rest is history. They’ll always be my family but I have a reasonably normal life now with Jane and I’m happy with that.” Darcy explained.

“Sometimes you find yourself in the strangest places and that just happens to be your normal.” Natasha laughed, lightening the tone. “So what’s your secret to that ever youthful skin?”

“Ah that would be my mutation.”

“Rapid healing and heightened senses, right?” She guessed and Darcy nodded. “Good, so now I know that we can get to the main question I have for you.” Nat raised her brow and locked eyes with Darcy.

“Go ahead.” Darcy leaned in and kept her gaze level.

“Do you want to spar? I’ve been dying to go against someone new in the ring.” Darcy giggled and threw some more candy into her mouth.

“Why not? It’s been too long since I last stretched my fighting wings.” Natasha smiled and clapped her hands together as she stood up.

“Tomorrow morning at six o’clock sound alright to you, the gym is usually empty then so we should be good.”

“What if-”

“If someone asks what we’re doing I’ll just say that it’s about time you learnt some self-defence, Clint’s been nagging me to ask you anyway so it won’t come as a surprise.” Darcy rolled her eyes, then nodded it was a good cover to say the least, even though it annoyed her to think that the others didn’t think to ask her whether she could actually defend herself.

“Tomorrow morning then.” Darcy stood alongside Natasha as they walked out of the greenhouse. “Hey, can I ask you a favour?”

“I won’t tell anyone if that’s what you wanted.”

“It wasn’t, but thank you anyway.” She grasped Natasha’s arm so they stayed in the hall just outside of the elevator, where there were no vents. “Would you be interested in helping me get Clint back for stealing my secret stashes, they’ve been going missing for the past few months no matter where I move my hiding place.”

“I could be persuaded, ” Natasha smiled and Darcy thought that there was a hint of a shark toothed grin to it. “If you agree to one thing for me.”

“And what would that be?” Darcy tilted her head curiously at Natasha.

“Oh don’t worry it’ll be fun, I promise. If it’s not then I’ll owe you another favour, does that sound like a deal.” She weighed the pros and cons up in her head, it sounded suspicious to Darcy but she trusted Natasha to not push her into something completely out of her depth, and if she did end up hating whatever it was Nat would then owe her another favour that she was sure she could cash in the next time Stark decided to be an asshole.

“It’s a deal.” Darcy stuck her hand out and shook Nat’s hand. She smirked and they walked into the elevator. When the doors shut she bumped her shoulder into Nat. “So what was it exactly that I agreed to?”

“A date.”

“A date! A date with who?” The blood drained from her face as she realised how easily she had been duped.

Natasha smiled at her. “Ye of little faith, don’t you trust my judgement.”

“Of course I don’t, I heard what happened with Steve’s matchmaking. Hell, you tried to match him with me.” She laughed somewhat hysterically, recalling the stories he had told her about all of the horrendous matches Natasha had made for him.

She rolled her eyes. “I’m starting to think that Steve is a lost cause. Anyway as you said, you’re not looking for the same things as him so it’s a damn sight easier to find a date for you. You’ll like her, she’s a lot of fun.”

“Right, I get that, but who is it?” Darcy huffed as they came to a stop outside of Jane’s lab.

“Trish Walker.” Nat smirked and Darcy barely stopped herself from walking into the labs glass door.

“As in Trish talk, _that_ Trish Walker?” She flopped down onto her desk chair and Natasha waved at Jane who was banging at a machine in the corner, she had pencils sticking out of her hair and crumbs stuck around her mouth, Darcy knew she would be stopping a science bender from happening tonight.

“One and the same. She’ll meet you at Shaw’s bar at eight on Friday, don’t be late and wear that red top you bought the other week, with your ripped jeans and black heeled boots.” Nat winked at her snagging the m&m’s off of her desk before waltzing out of the lab.

“Did you just agree to a date?” Jane popped her head up from behind the machine and pointed her hammer at her.

“Yeah. Yeah I think I did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Seeing as the last one was so short I thought I'd give you another chapter as well. Please let me know what you thought of it, I hope you liked the introduction of the other MCU characters!   
> Also if any of you are interested, I've written the begining of a little Darcy/Trish one shot, if anyone is interested in it I could be persuaded to finish it and post it :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics are thoughts.  
>  This is just a little segment from Jean's point of view.

“Jean!” The shout followed her as she walked out of her classroom at the end of the day. She sighed and plastered a smile on her face, she had the beginning of a pressure headache and all she wanted was her bed. It was coming to the end of term so all the students were stressed out about finals and Jean was stressed because they were stressed. The focus on the students was always a helpful reprieve to occupy her mind, it was quite the same as working in a hospital but being able to help the children made up for that fact.

Jean turned around to look at Ororo. “Hey.”

“Can we go somewhere, and talk, it’s important?” Ororo locked her eyes on Jean and she nodded, she turned towards her room. Jean frowned, Ororo felt nervous, agitated and at the same time angry. She thought about the past couple of weeks to see if she had done anything to annoy the woman but her mind drew a blank, she had barely talked to her. They briefly chatted over dinner the other night but that was about it.

She opened the door and ushered Ororo into the room, she turned to shut the door and when she moved back to face the room Ororo was stood facing her, her arms across her chest and a serious look on her face. Jean opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted.

“You need to stop.”

“Stop what?” Jean frowned.

“Pretending that you’re perfectly okay when it’s clear you aren’t,” Ororo’s voice was soft but insistent, it was the tone she used with the students.

“Ororo-” Jean tried to reason with her.

“Please don’t try and deny it Jean, I’ve watched you over the years and I’ve had enough of your self-imposed misery and isolation. Don’t you think it’s about time you let yourself feel something again!” Ororo snapped, her eyes flashed at Jean, daring her to disagree with her.

“I-I don’t-”

“Yes you do. She wouldn’t want this for you Jean, none of us do.” Jean broke her gaze and crossed her arms. Ororo scoffed. “Hell, if she knew the real reason you won’t talk to her, or-or even acknowledge that she’s alive. I sure as hell know she’d come here and knock some sense into your self-flagellating ass!” Jean flinched at her words and the breath escaped her lungs.

“That’s not fair!”

“Yeah, I kept telling myself that every other time I wanted to scream at you for being frozen. It’s been years too long now Jean. It hurts seeing you like this, every single time someone so much as mentions Darcy you shut down for days and the rest of the time you barely react to anything, I know those smiles are fake because I know what they used to look like before.” Ororo bit her lip and her hands dropped into a placating gesture. “What I don’t understand Jean, is that she told me _you_ were the one to push her away, not the other way around. Why would you do that if you still loved her?”

“Because I can’t be with her.” Jean dropped onto her bed, her head falling into her hands. Her lips stung as the words finally left her lips.

“Why the hell not?”

“It doesn’t matter now! She has a normal life in New York, just like she always wanted.” Jean pinned a glare on Ororo as she started pacing her room.

Ororo groaned in frustration and pulled on her own hair. “She does not have a normal life, she lives with the Avenger’s for cripes sake. I don’t get it Jean, why couldn’t she have had that _normal life_ with you? You loved her, she loved you.” Ororo’s voice had risen along with her emotions.

“I couldn’t protect her,” Jean whispered, her throat was on fire with the words she didn’t want to speak but she knew Ororo would pull out.

“What?” She stopped pacing and her voice lost its bitter and angry edges.

Jean swallowed and looked back up at her. “The day she was taken, that morning was the happiest I have ever been. I didn’t know that I could feel anything even close to that because of another person, that’s Darcy for you I guess.” She dragged in a few rough breaths. “When I came back and saw she was gone, I just-just broke, I lost control and I almost brought the building down on top of me and the people in the flats below. I should have been there, I should have protected her.”

Ororo sat on the bed next to her, stroking Jean’s back in the comfort she obviously needed to provide. “How were you supposed to know Jean? You’re a telepath not a clairvoyant.”

“Don’t you get it? Everything that happened to her in those four years she was taken, it was because of me. Every time she was hurt, tortured, forced to do things she didn’t want, it was my fault. My fault, I can’t hurt her again and I doubt she’d even want to see me. It’s best if I just stay away,” Her voice wavered.

“It’s not your fault Jean. No matter what you think, it is not your fault.” Ororo grabbed Jean’s hand.

“Like I said it doesn’t matter now, she’s happy where she is.” She sighed and the sad smile made its way back onto her face.

“Bullshit. She may be content but there’s no way she’s completely happy there, not why she’s still hurting over you and I know she still does. And you’ll never be happy until you stop hurting over her. No matter what you think she still loves you.” Ororo stood up and looked down at her again.

“Ororo-”

“No. You stopped living the day she was taken. It’s time for you to start living again, with or without her.”

Jean remained silent as tears dripped down off of her face onto the bed sheets below her.

Ororo walked towards the door. “I’m going to Avengers Tower in a few weeks with some of the others, maybe-maybe you could see her.”

“I-No. No I can’t-”

 “You have time. Think about it please.” With that she left Jean in a crisis.

She couldn’t see her, her gut twisted and she curled up on her bed. Seeing her after so many years would feel like a stab in the heart…and the stomach…and her lungs. _How could she forgive me? She won’t want to see me._ She swiped at the tears on her face. _Ororo was right._ She really had been frozen. She couldn’t remember the last time she had laughed, really laughed. Or even the last time she had actually cried. Pain had been her only friend.

She screwed up her hands in the sheets and groaned in frustration. _I can’t see her._ She pulled her desk chair out and sat down. _But I can write her a letter._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, please tell me which bits you liked, which bits you were unsure of and anything you'd like to see later on!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics are thoughts.

Darcy knew that the Avengers and the X-men were having a meeting today, she had even briefly talked to Ororo before they had set off. However she was completely unprepared to walk into the common room with Natasha after their workout to find the X-men being toured around, she had at least hoped that when she did see them she wouldn’t have to do so with the rest of the Avenger’s and co as an audience.

Especially not with Lorna there. Lorna who was the closest thing she had to a sister. Lorna, who she hadn’t seen in almost two years because she was too caught up in her own life, too scared to visit the mansion because of old ghosts. Lorna was only a few years younger than herself but she looked so much more mature than Darcy, she actually looked her age, it hit home to Darcy how much of a fool she had been to miss out on so much of her sister’s life, how selfish it was.

 _Maybe I could slip out before they see me._ She was being a coward but she wanted time to prepare, to find the proper words to apologise, to reconcile.

But, of course, she didn’t have time.

Steve turned towards the doors as he was part way through explaining something and the group of mutants – Ororo, Logan, Scott and Lorna – span towards her. Darcy winced as she saw Lorna’s eyes widen at the sight of her and they then narrowed again into a scowl. Darcy wanted nothing more than for the floor to fall out from under her, or for Natasha to have _actually_ beaten her to a pulp earlier.

Steve was oblivious to the tension in the room when he smiled at Darcy and Natasha. “Ah, here’s Natasha and-”

“You!” Lorna growled and stepped towards Darcy. Startled by the sudden animosity aimed at Darcy Sam sprung in front of her and Ororo placed a calming hand on Lorna’s shoulder which she shook off. Darcy slipped around Sam and made her way to Lorna, her hands out in surrender.

“I’m so sorry, I’m sorry Lorna. I was so selfish and caught up in my own shit that I just-it doesn’t matter really it’s not an excuse.” Darcy stared down Lorna, hoping that she could see how much Darcy was sorry. The silence was balanced on everyone’s breaths in the room, even Clint had somehow managed to stay silent.

Lorna’s face morphed from anger to hurt acceptance and Darcy felt a punch to the gut reminding her of how shitty her behaviour really had been. Lorna was family for god’s sake. Her eyes stung at the realisation and her throat felt like it was closing up each second that Lorna stood there saying nothing. She deserved it though, she’d do anything to take back that time, she wished she had spent more time with her mother before she had passed away and then she had was taken from her, she never wanted to feel the same for anyone else in her life.

She felt a tear slip from her eye and in the next moment she had a face full of green hair and the comforting smell of Lorna wrapped around her. She clung to the taller woman and pressed her face into her neck and took a few breaths. She felt the others shift in the room around her but in that moment she couldn’t bring herself to care about anyone other than her little sister in her arms.

“You didn’t just leave her Darcy, you left all of us too.” Lorna whispered in her rough glass voice, and Darcy tightened her grip.

“I know. I know. It won’t be like that anymore, I promise.” Darcy loosened her grip and stroked Lorna’s hair back from her face, truly seeing how much she had missed from Lorna’s life.

“You missed Mom’s birthday.” Lorna crossed her arms over her chest and pretended to look angry at Darcy, Darcy supressed the urge to roll her eyes, she had grown up around the girl and her emotions, she wasn’t going to be caught out now. Lorna grinned. “I’m sure you could make it up to her if you make your infamous Dobosh.” Darcy smiled, she knew that Magda had no special preference for the chocolate cake but that Lorna and her sweet tooth definitely did.

“That could be arranged.”

“So uh- do you want to explain what the hell is going on Lewis?” And with that Darcy was sucked back into the room to see that most of the eyes in the room were on her. She felt Ororo sidle up just behind her, the comforting presence of her lifelong friend gave her the courage to keep her head held high. She wasn’t ashamed of being a mutant, but she didn’t want them to feel as if she had somehow broken their trust by negating to tell them that she was a mutant. She didn’t owe them anything.

“Well uh-I’m a mutant.” Darcy laughed.

“Why are you here?” Tony glared at Darcy and she felt just like she had when she had to leave high school all those years ago. She heard the strain in Natasha’s knuckles as she clenched her fist.

“Tony.” Steve ground out as he turned to glare at his team mate. Darcy crossed her arms and stared him down.

“I’m here because I took an internship with Jane and then Thor fell out of the fucking sky!” She felt her own muscles start to strain with her own anger. Ororo grabbed her arm to hold her in place and she took a deep breath to calm herself. She usually had a better hold of her own emotions, she didn’t like it when they snuck up on her. Stark looked to Jane and she just smiled as if it wasn’t news to her when really it was.

“Did you know she was a mutant?” It was Bucky this time that had asked the question, his voice was tinged with curiosity not distrust and she was pleased that he was looking at her no differently than before.

“I had some clues but, she’s a great assistant and my best friend so I didn’t ask. It’s not important to me, never has been, my Dad was mutant and he didn’t share his gift unless he felt it was necessary.” Jane shrugged and Darcy looked at her with a sudden look of understanding (and just the smallest niggling thought in the back of her head that Jane could also be a mutant). Jane smiled at her and Darcy smiled back.

Some of the tension bled from the room and Natasha flopped gracefully onto the couch beside Jane. It would take a little while for them to process but Darcy was certain that it would happen at some point. “You probably have some questions right?” At the few nods and shrugs Darcy carried on. “Well you may as well get comfortable then. I’m gonna grab a drink.” She smiled and walked into the kitchenette, stopping to hug Scott and Ororo before she got ready for her friendly interrogation.

When she walked back in she saw that the X-men and the Avenger’s had all made themselves comfortable over the various pieces of luxurious furniture that Stark had picked out. It left her with a spot on the two-seater with Ororo.  She smothered a laugh when she saw that Lorna had seated herself next to Bucky and he kept glancing at her, his looks constantly flickering from awe to terror and back to awe again.

“Who’s going first?” Darcy called out as she took a long swig from her water bottle.

“Are we sure you’re not a spy, you’ve been spending a lot of time with Natasha, who is like the greatest spy.” Darcy rolled her eyes at Stark.

Lorna scoffed. “We have literal telepaths why would we send this dork?”

“Maybe because we have our own telepath and she would have figured out if there was another telepath.” Sam replied and she could see Wanda glaring daggers into the back of his head.

“No offense to you Wanda but our telepaths have had a lot more experience controlling their powers, you wouldn’t know they were even there.” Darcy softened her eyes as she looked at the young girl, she reminded her a little of Jean, the nervous looks and the fear that her powers were the ones controlling her and not the other way around. It saddened her to see her scared but she knew that with time she’d know that she was the one with the control.

“No, it’s ok. I didn’t even know you were a mutant.” She replied and Darcy smiled at her.

“That’s her fault not yours.” Scott laughed and Darcy wished she had something to throw at his smug face. Wanda tilted her head at Darcy in question.

“I guess that leads to the next question then, what is your mutation? If you don’t mind me asking that is?” Bruce asked and Darcy grinned, she had always had a soft spot for professors.

She looked to Natasha and found the redheaded spy looking at her nails before giving her the slightest twitch of her head as a nod. “Natasha had a cream cheese poppy seed bagel for breakfast. The last time she showered was a little under twelve hours ago, she used her rose and honeysuckle body wash and her coconut shampoo-”

“Woah, stalker much?” Clint interrupted and Nat smacked him round the back of the head.

“What?”

“Let her talk.” Her scowl prevented anyone else from opening their mouths.

Darcy closed her eyes and shut the rest of the room out, spreading out with the rest of her senses. Her voice came out softly through her lips as the thoughts slipped from them. “She’s warm, she’s running at ninety-nine point two-no three, a little over her baseline but we did just work out. Steady fifty-four heartbeats per minute. The bruise on her left shoulder has a few hours left until the muscle tissue is fully healed.” Darcy pulled her lids open and strained to look at the energy surrounding her. “There’s a deep navy energy around her, it’s strong.” Natasha smiled at her and Darcy sagged slightly into the cushions.

There was slight pause that was finally broken by Bucky’s low whistle. “I gotta say that was impressive.”

Lorna raised her brow. “You ain’t seen nothing yet. Show them the rest.”

“The rest?” Stark sounded slightly hysterical and Darcy rolled her eyes.

“She exaggerates. I only have one other power really.” Darcy looked around for something to use and her eyes eventually landed back on Natasha. “You got a knife or something?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” She smirked, she wouldn’t be surprised if she did, but considering Nat was only in a crop top and yoga pants the hiding place was probably somewhat indecent.

Lorna piped up. “He’s got one in his boot.” Bucky froze and locked eyes with Lorna again. “Go on then, don’t keep the lady waiting.” He silently slid the small knife out of his boot and Lorna couldn’t resist dragging it through the air before landing it on Darcy’s palm.

“So do you have perfect aim? ‘Cause I gotta say we already have one Hawkass in our midst.” Stark interjected.

“Just be patient would you.” Darcy chastised, sometimes the man could really act like a toddler. She flipped the knife in her hand one time before she plunged the knife through her hand. She felt the collective gasps and winces through the room (sans Lorna, Ororo and Scott that is), who ever said she didn’t have a flair for the dramatic. She held it up to show them that there wasn’t even any blood dripping around the wound.

“Jeez Woman do you not feel pain?!” Sam scolded, he looked a tiny bit green and Darcy almost laughed, he should have definitely been used to gore what with being a Pararescue and all.

She shrugged and slid the knife out from her hand. “I do. I’ve just been desensitised to it over the years, the knowledge that I heal pretty much instantly kind of helps you distance yourself from it.” Steve was glancing up and down her, a calculating look on his face.

“Why don’t you use your powers?”

“What? You mean to fight?” She frowned.

“Yeah, you could do so much good-” Darcy flinched, she’d heard that argument before.

“Just stop!” She snapped and Steve shut up. “I’m more than just my mutation. I’ve done more good just being myself than I ever did when I was using my mutations to fight.” Ororo rubbed circles into her back as flashes of each mutant she had handed over flashed behind her eyes.

“Captain Rogers-” Ororo interrupted, her voice strong, “- you _chose_ to fight, you felt like you needed to be up there fighting, you may not realise what a gift that truly was. That choice to fight often isn’t given to people like us, some of us fight for survival, some of us fight to protect those of us who can’t or those of us who are too young and some of us are made to fight against our will. There are a lot of people who believe that just because we are given these gifts that means that we owe the world something, that we have to use them.” Ororo smiled, it had always been something Darcy had loved, her natural ability to express her point in words without being misconstrued. “We teach the children the lessons that we learnt at their ages. The professor showed each and every one of us that we are capable of so much more than destruction, it’s a powerful thing to learn when you live in a world that likes to tell you that destruction is all you’ll ever be good at. We learn to use our gifts, to control them and to not let them control us.”

“I apologise, I didn’t mean to offend you, any of you.” Steve looked so heartfelt that Darcy truly believed that no one could ever really stay mad at a man like that.

“You didn’t know, but know you do.” Ororo smiled at him and Steve’s face lightened. Bucky was looking at Darcy with a new found recognition, _he’s figured it out._

She felt eyes roving over skin and she turned to see a calculating look on Stark’s face before it morphed into one of a breakthrough, which she was well acquainted with. “What is it Stark?”

“Just how old are you exactly?”

“Don’t you know you aren’t supposed to ask a lady her age?”

“Yes. How old are you?”

Darcy huffed and flipped him off. “I’m younger than you Old man.”

Scott snorted. “Yeah, not by much.”  

The interrogation dissolved into smaller ones and Darcy threw cushions at Scott, easily falling into old patterns of teasing and scrapping. The group stayed in the common room for the rest of the day, all official conversations put to the side as the teams just got to know each other and Darcy got caught up with old friends.

It was starting to head towards early evening when Darcy felt the first waves of exhaustion come over her. She had just slipped out of the common room to go back to her apartment to shower and nap when she heard Ororo behind her.

“Hey Ro.”

“Hey to you too. Can I walk with you back to your room?” Darcy sensed that there was more to it than simply accompanying her so she nodded her head and lead them back to her rooms.

She let them into her living room and offered Ororo a cup of coffee, she grabbed herself a tea and carried the drinks to the coffee table. She frowned when she saw an envelope on her previously empty table. It had her name scrawled across it in a font that was familiar but she couldn’t quite place it.

“Did you bring this?” She questioned as she settled onto the couch.

Ro nodded and took a sip from her drink. “I couldn’t get her to come, but she wanted me to go you this?”

Darcy’s mug slipped from her hands and she hissed as the hot liquid scalded her legs. “What-why? Why would you do that?”

Ororo sighed. “Because I’m sick of seeing my two best friends in pain, you were lying when you said that you were desensitised to pain. I know you hurt as much now as you did back then.”

“But she’s the one who pushed me away, why would she- I don’t understand Ororo I thought she’d have moved on.” Ororo pulled a dazed Darcy into a hug and smoothed her hair down.

“I know, I know she hurt you and that you can never go back to how things were. But if you could get even just a small bit of the happiness back that you had then, even if it’s just from closure, then that would be worth it. I love you both so much and it hurts knowing that you aren’t happy, especially if I could do something about it.” Ororo patted Darcy’s back and let her go. “Please, just promise me you’ll read it? You don’t even have to reply.”

Darcy felt numb as she nodded and her the letter between her fingers. Ororo pressed a kiss to her temple and tidied the cups away.

“Don’t be a stranger, I know I’m not the only one at school that misses you.”

“I won’t.” She whispered and watched as Ororo left her apartment, the locks clicking shut behind her.

The letter stayed in her hands for the next hour as she sat stunned. Her mind darting between all of the possible outcomes. She felt her breathing speed up and she forced her breath out of her lungs before ripping through the envelope.

She felt her eyes tear up as she read the first words. Two simple words.

_I’m sorry._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, all mistakes are mine. I value any constructive criticism offered!

**Author's Note:**

> So did you like it? Please tell me if you liked it and if you have any questions i'll happily answer them. I'm on holiday for the next two weeks and i'm not sure if i'll have any internet connection so i don't know whether i'll be able to update for another two weeks, however i do have six chapters already written and i'm certain i'll have it all written by the end of my holiday! Then it will be updated a day when i'm back on the 12th of September and it will be finished by the 16th of September seeing as that's when i'm moving to uni :) Sorry for the word vomit.


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